Ryan Adams Reviews Gorf, Rides Tangents

Singer and serial celeb-dater Ryan Adams is now a columnist for The Awl. Above is some footage of him playing and musing about Gorf:

Playing Gorf is like getting wasted, or what I remember about getting wasted: It's loud, it's confusing, there are a bunch of lights going off, people (robots) are shooting at you, you need pizza, etc., then its game over.

Witty! ...But wait, there's more. Adams also wrote a column. His propensity for tangents is, at times, astounding. For instance:

I still play console arcade games. It feels like a more complete experience. The consoles themselves are really beautiful. I love all those fantastic flashing lights, the panels, the artwork; It's like picking on somebody your own size.

Can you imagine if you were to walk into an arcade--there are still arcades, but they are BARcades because if you are from the 1980s you are pretty much a) drinking sometimes, b) a drunk, or c) trying to keep LSD flashbacks at bay (being myself "not drinking" this disqualifies me and a lot of other reluctant exercising one-time wasteoids)--can you fucking imagine if one day you went to the BARcade with, er, I dunno, Jimmy Numbchuncks's friend Nancy Bungglerope and you ran into Danzig going for a two player run with some or all the members of Whitesnake? That would be fucking awesome.

Yes, it would be. Adams continues:

...Creator Jamie Fenton also made a Mrs. Gorf but nobody was rushing to the drawing board for that game. Supposedly Fenton had a sex change, but I don't know about that. I'm not sure whose voice they used to make the game sound like an alien commander, but when it is cackling at me I am always convinced it is someone wearing amazingly tall platform shoes, you know, the kind where everybody looks when you go by.

Not to be a dick, but it must be nice to casually throw out information about people's personal lives without bothering to verify or even find a link or two to support the claim.

In conclusion, Adams says:

"It's just a badass game..."

I can't say I disagree.

[via Pitchfork]