Conservative Christian group says Army of Two has "homoerotic undertones"... but don't all games?
According to the Timothy Plan, a "conservatively Christian" investment firm, Army of Two is one of the gayest games you can possibly buy. Their rationale? According to their list of the thirty most morally irresponsible video game comes this compelling rationale:
Army of Two: Homosexual Encounters: ...Somewhat homo-erotic undertones between the two main characters are present.
"Somewhat?" They aren't wrong, but it's only because this same charge could be leveled against any number of games featuring overcompensatory beefcake he-men firing their shotguns at groin level and calling each other "brah". Women often complain about the over-sexualized depiction of female characters in gaming, but practically all male protagonists are basically the oiled and glistening avatars of gaming's collectively closeted id. Which is awesome.
For instance, take the characters of Gears of War, as designed by Epic's own break dancing, fashion-obsessed lead designer, CliffyB... a man who, incidentally, is more well-known in the annals of the gay gaming world by his "other" nickname, "Dude Huge." Not only are his creations Marcus Fenix and Dominic Santiago merely a dip in a vat of coconut butter away from posing for a Playgirl pictorial called "Queers of War", but their Delta Squad "wingman," Augustus Cole, has a call sign (Cole Train) that is literally an underground gay euphemism for group bum action.
And that's just one example. The protagonists of most shooters and action games are essentially bearish superhunks, each seemingly only a headshot and a high-five away from greasing up their pecs and settling into a congratulatory snuggle. And that's just fine by me. There's no divorcing the gay from gaming: it's right there in the first syllable!
It's all folly. Avoiding the homo-erotic undertones in your gaming is basically part and parcel with avoiding the fun. And I like my games to be fun. Thanks to the Timothy Plan and their ringing if accidental endorsement, Army of Two just went on my Christmas list. It better be as gay as they say it is.
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macisaguy
#1 – 9:35 AM December 3, 2008
If I were them, I'd be more worried about World Track Class Meet, the game shipped with the original NES Power Pad. I mean, have you seen how gay those avatars' outfits are? Short short white shorts with skimpy (and matching) tank tops.
Or what about Billy and Jimmy Lee from Double Dragon. Here's two sweaty beefcakes in skin tight jumpsuits rubbin' up against a bunch of dudes in the streets of New York.
Or what about Dance Dance Revolution? No other game has ever made uncoordinated male teens look more gay than trying to perform pre-programmed dance moves to impress their male friends.
This group needs to look at the games of the past that have most likely turned hundreds of young gamers into modern gay men in the workforce. Leave these next-gen wannabe gay games alone...they don't come close to the gayness I was raised on.
Matt Hendry
#2 – 10:27 AM December 3, 2008
Maybe they should Look at the Americas Army video game for Homoerotic overtones you know guys in uniforms in the Foxhole with each other ;).
Americas Army is the video game created by the US Army as a recruitment tool.
http://www.americasarmy.com/
gnomungus
#3 – 12:34 PM December 3, 2008
I have to say that Army of Two is a FANTASTICALLY horrible game.
seriously.
And not even in a fun way.
BreadBakerFranz
#4 – 2:18 PM December 3, 2008
If you can crouch... you can teabag.
... it's everywhere.
btb
#5 – 3:55 PM December 3, 2008
Wow! And you didn't even mention professional football!
ElizaGauger
#6 – 3:59 PM December 4, 2008
I am currently playing this co-op campaign with a friend. We are continually whinnying with glee at the BLATANT homosexuality of the game. They stop just short of patting each other's butts after every headshot.
And frankly, the butt-patting is more noticeable in its absence, than it would be if it had been included.
Anonymous Anonymous
#7 – 1:12 AM March 16, 2009
what? are you freakin serious? goes to show you how perverted this world has become when you can't even play a game without some jerk seeing something "gay" in it. there's nothing wrong with 2 guys being buds and hi-fiving. that doesn't mean they're snuggling behind the scenes. if you people weren't looking for gay in everything you watch or play, you wouldn't think twice about it.